it is so official! exchange surgery date June 13th! i am so excited, 7 weeks from today!
my exchange surgery will hopefully be my final surgery unless revisions are needed later on to fix any problems. my plastic surgeon will use part of the incision from before on both sides, take out the expanders (skin stretchers) and put in my implants. i have heard this surgery is way easier than my first one. i just pray that everyone is right!
yesterday i had my final "fill" i now have 510cc on the right and 525cc on the left. he says the small cc difference wont make a difference. so now i just wait... i really hope the time flys by. my right side hurts really bad right now, i didnt sleep last night. lucky i switched days at work, i was scheduled for today and ended up changing it to tomorrow, i also work friday. 12 hour shifts really sucks after not working for 7 weeks and being in pain. it wasnt too bad last week, i just feel myself getting really stiff after a few hours and i start walking weird. i alternate motrin and tylenol during the day when i am working, they help but, being on my feet often still makes it difficult.
on a 1-10 pain scale i am at about a 10 on my right side. it was filled with 60cc yesterday & when i was attempting to sleep last night i pushed myself up with my right arm and that may have affected it as well :( my left side was only filled with 30, i honestly do not think i am having any pain on that side right now. i am hoping that next week the pain wont be as bad.
I am gonna eat, and take meds and try to get a nap in.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
LOVE ME !!!
i got this shirt from Kolhs a few weeks ago, it says "love me" on the front in huge letters! when i saw it i knew i needed it. just another positive thing in my life :) i recently got 4 new shirts v-necks, i am very comfortable in them, they look good with the size of my foobs. all of my tops and summer dresses are too small. i also cannot fit my two piece anymore, well the top lol.
this past tuesday i saw my PS to get filled. i am now 495cc on the left and 450cc on the right. i told him that i was pretty happy with the size, he had me stand in the mirror to point out a few things that he will "revise" during my exchange surgery. he also said if i stopped filling now then i may loose about a cup size, i decided to have one more fill which will be on the 24th, then i will be able to schedule my exchange. i am so happy. i feel like it is getting close even though i know i have about 7-10 weeks depending on when they can get me in. these expanders are becoming very annoying, they have always been annoying but it is getting worse. i am still very happy with my choice!
today is day 52 post surgery! seems like it has been longer. friday was my first day back at work i was really nervous, i have been pretty lazy since surgery to say the least. i was excited to see my co workers. they were amazingly helpful to me, i didn't need much help but when i did i asked i didn't want to over do it. 12 hour shifts are hard, especially after not having to be anywhere at a specific time, besides the airport & dr appointments. even though i would love to stay home longer i am glad to be back to work. oh just remembered... when I was getting dressed for work i could not put on my scrub top, i wear grey's anatomy scrubs and they are a little fitted under the boob area, which makes it hard to get on without lots of wiggling. i decided to just wear my long sleeve shirt and get help from my coworker Kelley when i got to work. it took us a couple of different tries but i got it on. thank you Kelley you are indeed a lifesaver, especially since you wore the same color as me yesterday (finally). i was so happy to get off work and get to bed that i did not think about the fact that i would have trouble taking the damn shirt off. i get home, walk the dog and spend and hour, a full hour trying to take the shirt off. i was almost in tears, being stuck is no fun. my mom advised me to just cut it off but i really could not bring myself to doing it. i ended up taking a break and trying one last time & got it off. i will make sure i ask for help before leaving work. its not that they are too small, if you have ever worn scrubs you know you have to arrange your arms a certain way, i don't know it's very hard to explain.
just wanted to update you all!!! happy saturday night!!!
this past tuesday i saw my PS to get filled. i am now 495cc on the left and 450cc on the right. i told him that i was pretty happy with the size, he had me stand in the mirror to point out a few things that he will "revise" during my exchange surgery. he also said if i stopped filling now then i may loose about a cup size, i decided to have one more fill which will be on the 24th, then i will be able to schedule my exchange. i am so happy. i feel like it is getting close even though i know i have about 7-10 weeks depending on when they can get me in. these expanders are becoming very annoying, they have always been annoying but it is getting worse. i am still very happy with my choice!
today is day 52 post surgery! seems like it has been longer. friday was my first day back at work i was really nervous, i have been pretty lazy since surgery to say the least. i was excited to see my co workers. they were amazingly helpful to me, i didn't need much help but when i did i asked i didn't want to over do it. 12 hour shifts are hard, especially after not having to be anywhere at a specific time, besides the airport & dr appointments. even though i would love to stay home longer i am glad to be back to work. oh just remembered... when I was getting dressed for work i could not put on my scrub top, i wear grey's anatomy scrubs and they are a little fitted under the boob area, which makes it hard to get on without lots of wiggling. i decided to just wear my long sleeve shirt and get help from my coworker Kelley when i got to work. it took us a couple of different tries but i got it on. thank you Kelley you are indeed a lifesaver, especially since you wore the same color as me yesterday (finally). i was so happy to get off work and get to bed that i did not think about the fact that i would have trouble taking the damn shirt off. i get home, walk the dog and spend and hour, a full hour trying to take the shirt off. i was almost in tears, being stuck is no fun. my mom advised me to just cut it off but i really could not bring myself to doing it. i ended up taking a break and trying one last time & got it off. i will make sure i ask for help before leaving work. its not that they are too small, if you have ever worn scrubs you know you have to arrange your arms a certain way, i don't know it's very hard to explain.
just wanted to update you all!!! happy saturday night!!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
blessed opportunist
opportunist- one who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences.
so i was looking at the FORCE (facing our risk of cancer empowered) message boards, (ill get back to what FORCE is in another post. but anyways i was looking at them and ran across a post of someone speaking of psychological issues with BRCA diagnosis kinda... a responder spoke about how she took her BRCA positive diagnosis as a blessing or an opportunity to do something. i started thinking after reading this post and i feel the exact same way.
i took my BRCA status and did something about it. i wasn't forced to get rid of my boobs and get foobs. i had the choice. i wasn't waiting around to find a lump, get diagnosed with breast cancer and be forced to have a mastectomy. we all make choices, for ourselves, for our families, for our friends, i had a choice and i did what i felt was best for myself as well as my future.
so as you guys know i do not have kids, but i have always wanted them, always! after i found out my BRCA status i was kinda blAh about the entire having a baby situation mostly because i know i can pass this gene on 50/50 chance, and also because i will not be able to breastfeed :( being a nurse it was always something i knew or looked forward to. i have read post about individuals that avoid passing it on by going through a dr sorting out eggs, and what not. but i don't think i would wanna do that, if i didn't have the gene i wouldn't have had this opportunity. i am no where close to saying i hope i pass the gene on to my future kid(s) i am just saying that if there is a chance, i would like them to have the same opportunity as i did. to be able to choose. if i was not BRCA2+ i would have had a 7% chance of getting breast cancer just like everyone else in the world. and have no choice for real prevention. i have decided i want to have a baby, hopefully before i turn 30 :)
when i think back at my myself before my surgery my outlook on things has changed. not saying i was a big old negative nancy, i am just more positive. after surgery i stopped breathing my ass almost didn't make it lol, i know it's not funny but i am here i am so grateful to be here, yes it was all my choice to have surgery and if i didn't have the surgery it wouldn't have happened but, i could have also got hit by a car or died from a car accident. i just pray that my outlook continues to be positive, life is so short and there are only so many things we can try to avoid. right now being positive is all i can really be, i don't have time to be sad or worried about what others think about my FOOBS, they are mine and i am thankful to have the opportunity to decrease my chances of getting diagnosed with breast cancer.
so i was looking at the FORCE (facing our risk of cancer empowered) message boards, (ill get back to what FORCE is in another post. but anyways i was looking at them and ran across a post of someone speaking of psychological issues with BRCA diagnosis kinda... a responder spoke about how she took her BRCA positive diagnosis as a blessing or an opportunity to do something. i started thinking after reading this post and i feel the exact same way.
i took my BRCA status and did something about it. i wasn't forced to get rid of my boobs and get foobs. i had the choice. i wasn't waiting around to find a lump, get diagnosed with breast cancer and be forced to have a mastectomy. we all make choices, for ourselves, for our families, for our friends, i had a choice and i did what i felt was best for myself as well as my future.
so as you guys know i do not have kids, but i have always wanted them, always! after i found out my BRCA status i was kinda blAh about the entire having a baby situation mostly because i know i can pass this gene on 50/50 chance, and also because i will not be able to breastfeed :( being a nurse it was always something i knew or looked forward to. i have read post about individuals that avoid passing it on by going through a dr sorting out eggs, and what not. but i don't think i would wanna do that, if i didn't have the gene i wouldn't have had this opportunity. i am no where close to saying i hope i pass the gene on to my future kid(s) i am just saying that if there is a chance, i would like them to have the same opportunity as i did. to be able to choose. if i was not BRCA2+ i would have had a 7% chance of getting breast cancer just like everyone else in the world. and have no choice for real prevention. i have decided i want to have a baby, hopefully before i turn 30 :)
when i think back at my myself before my surgery my outlook on things has changed. not saying i was a big old negative nancy, i am just more positive. after surgery i stopped breathing my ass almost didn't make it lol, i know it's not funny but i am here i am so grateful to be here, yes it was all my choice to have surgery and if i didn't have the surgery it wouldn't have happened but, i could have also got hit by a car or died from a car accident. i just pray that my outlook continues to be positive, life is so short and there are only so many things we can try to avoid. right now being positive is all i can really be, i don't have time to be sad or worried about what others think about my FOOBS, they are mine and i am thankful to have the opportunity to decrease my chances of getting diagnosed with breast cancer.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
just a few things
i know it has been a while since i posted something worth anything. i don't even have a real reason, it's not like i have been busy.
i guess i will do a quick update...
i went to the my plastic surgeon 3/27 when he first took a look he decided the right side was too tight so he wouldn't fill it. i was filled with 50cc on my left side, he then took of the remaining dermabond, which is the "glue" that was holding the incision together the left side looked great but, on the right there is a 1/2 inch section that is not all the way healed. it looks a little "raw" like my scab came off early. i was instructed to put antibiotic ointment on twice a day and cover it... no big deal, i've seen way worse open things at work lol. leaving i had 435cc on the left and 375cc on the right, talk about lop sided, it wasnt too bad because previously the right sat up a little closer to my collar bone and now the left does as well, so it was okay.
i went back in today 4/3 and he said that it looks way better, i couldnt tell because i have looked at it 14+ times in the past 7 days lol. he put 25cc in the right and asked if i wanted to wait to put more in the left so we can catch up a little. of course i happily agreed! so as of today i have 435cc on the left and 400cc on the right. not too bad!
the plan is to reach 500cc-535cc then 6 weeks after i get to that amount i will go back in for a second surgery to take my hard expanders out, and put in my new squishy gummy bear silicone implants! I CANNOT WAIT! lol. hopefully the surgery goes well, and i don't stop breathing and none of that other bad stuff happens. ;) hoping for june, but it is looking more like july. oh well! i am way beyond blessed.
tomorrow is 6 weeks post-op. time sure has flown by, especially seeing that i have just been sitting around. i was told last week that i could possible go back to work it is up to me. i am not sure i am ready to go. no scratch that i am ready to go back to work because i am bored i am not ready to spend 12 hour days with other people it has been so nice to have so much time to myself and do tons of nothing! i am considering going back to work next week, i still have not fully decided. i know i will have some help but, with others having their own patients i don't want to be stuck where i am waiting for someone elses help i guess we will just see. if i don't go back next week it will probably be the week after. or maybe the week after that lol.
well i think i am going to head to bed... just wanted to update since i have dragged it out for so long.
[a positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative.]
i guess i will do a quick update...
i went to the my plastic surgeon 3/27 when he first took a look he decided the right side was too tight so he wouldn't fill it. i was filled with 50cc on my left side, he then took of the remaining dermabond, which is the "glue" that was holding the incision together the left side looked great but, on the right there is a 1/2 inch section that is not all the way healed. it looks a little "raw" like my scab came off early. i was instructed to put antibiotic ointment on twice a day and cover it... no big deal, i've seen way worse open things at work lol. leaving i had 435cc on the left and 375cc on the right, talk about lop sided, it wasnt too bad because previously the right sat up a little closer to my collar bone and now the left does as well, so it was okay.
i went back in today 4/3 and he said that it looks way better, i couldnt tell because i have looked at it 14+ times in the past 7 days lol. he put 25cc in the right and asked if i wanted to wait to put more in the left so we can catch up a little. of course i happily agreed! so as of today i have 435cc on the left and 400cc on the right. not too bad!
the plan is to reach 500cc-535cc then 6 weeks after i get to that amount i will go back in for a second surgery to take my hard expanders out, and put in my new squishy gummy bear silicone implants! I CANNOT WAIT! lol. hopefully the surgery goes well, and i don't stop breathing and none of that other bad stuff happens. ;) hoping for june, but it is looking more like july. oh well! i am way beyond blessed.
tomorrow is 6 weeks post-op. time sure has flown by, especially seeing that i have just been sitting around. i was told last week that i could possible go back to work it is up to me. i am not sure i am ready to go. no scratch that i am ready to go back to work because i am bored i am not ready to spend 12 hour days with other people it has been so nice to have so much time to myself and do tons of nothing! i am considering going back to work next week, i still have not fully decided. i know i will have some help but, with others having their own patients i don't want to be stuck where i am waiting for someone elses help i guess we will just see. if i don't go back next week it will probably be the week after. or maybe the week after that lol.
well i think i am going to head to bed... just wanted to update since i have dragged it out for so long.
[a positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative.]
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