1st PS visit

So today was my 1st visit to my plastic surgeon (PS). He took out 2 of my 4 JP drains one from each side, it didn't hurt at all, but I did take a percocet and a valium 2 hours before my appointment. I am now also allowed to take a shower, but I have to go straight to his office after to get my dressings changed. So tomorrow morning I WILL shower :) lol. my pain has been controlled pretty well taking just with a percocet every few hours is doing good for me. I go see my general surgeon on thursday. Next week will be my first fill... I ended up with 300cc of saline in my expanders when I woke up. crazy waking up with bigger foobs then the boobs I went in with. They are pretty numb and they feel kinda odd when I touch them but they are cancer free and right now I am loving them, cant wait for the final results. Ugh clothes to wear! so I  live in Arizona and the past few days it has been like 81-84 degrees out! now if it were winter I would just throw on a zip up hoodie and call it a day, but since it is not I need button up shirts, short sleeve. I went to the mall today and in every single store all I can find are plaid shirts, I tried a few on & a feel like a farmer :/ so wth do I do... Frustrating as hell. but I guess I will figure it out. hopefully when I can get out of this weird looking sports bra in a few weeks I can wear better shirts. My other problem is that I cannot lift my arms to put my shirt on so I put on tank tops thru my legs lol, my PS giggled at me today when I was putting my shirt back on. I have to admit it is a little funny. hmmm what else, oh I have been sleeping in my recliner since I got home, It works pretty good for me sometimes I have a hard time getting out of it tho and I have to eject myself out. lol. ohhh the spasms, okay so my implants well expanders are behind my pectoralis major muscle, so that muscle is being stretched, and just like when you run or do any other excersise it spasms, and my right foob spasms so much! I think the spasming is worse than the pain. laughing, yawning, coughing, and sneezing are all very painful. & grabbing the foobs does not help the pain. lol. But as I said before I am BEYOND BLESSED! I just want to say thank you to my best friend in the world Breyanna, for always being here for me throughout this entire situation and beyond. My coworkers, who came to visit Kelley, Beth, Paul, Tara, Jill, Netta, Marisa, I have left out so many names, Carly, Billy, Colbie, the list goes on I am sorry I will put more names throughout my journey, and also to all my friends family and coworkers who have left me lovely comments on FB and through text messages! I love you all dearly! and you all have a place in my heart! I put this kelley clarkson song on this blog, Stronger "what doesn't kill you" for obvious reasons :) Thoughts and Prayers are always welcome!!!! :)

long story

So it's been a little over a week since my last post, and it is completely safe to say what I went into surgery for Nipple Sparing Mastectomy, with reconstuction went perfect! my "foobs" look a little strange with the scar and all but I love the fact that I can get up everyday and not think about that awful 84% of getting cancer! Guess I will go on about the day of surgery, preop, operating room, PACU, ICU, and the medical floor... Yes I did all of that. I was also in the hospital from Wednesday-Sunday night. Crazy adventure, but here it is. Got to preop, nurse had a hard time finding a vein for an IV I apparently have "baby viens" the entire 3 hours in preop I sat around txtn mt few close friends, family, and co workers. My mom and younger brothers sat in the room with me. Both my plastic surgeon and general came by to see me and go over last minute talks. I was not nervous at all just ready for it to be done. :) Anesthesia came in and of course me being a nurse I asked him step by step what his plan for putting/keeping me asleep was going to be. Right before it was time to go he came in to give me Fentynl and after that point I don't even remember being wheeled out of that room. From what I was told my general surgeon who did the mastectomy took about 2 hours, when his part was done my plastic surgeon came in and took about 3 hours, Everything was GREAT! this next portion is where my life went down the toilet bowl, as some ICU nurses refer to patients going down hill. lol not funny but I gotta find humor in all of this some how some way! So I was extubated (breathing tube taken out) then wheeled to post op (PACU) I am unsure if I was not hooked up to a monitor or if someone wasn't paying attention or what, but I do know that when someone finally noticed my oxygen saturation was in the 60% and after that it was unreadable... normally in healthy people it should be 90-100%. After the 60% it was no longer readable, sooooo I guess we can say Kionte was indeed NOT breathing!!! They put a quick oral airway in me, and proceeded to bag me... or do CPR whatever you wanna refer to it as. My blood pressure was probably nothing/nothing so they filled me with tons of fluid. Then I came back... my mom asked if I saw the light but I didnt, or I dont remember seeing it. Flooding me with fluids was the best thing they could have done but I went into negative pressure pulmonary edema, all the fluid I had gotten went into my lungs, which again caused me to not be able to breathe! WONDERFUL progress right? ;) sooo after putting my cathether back in whihc I was not happy about they began giving me a diuretic called lasix to pull all of the excess fluid out. I got admitted into ICU and went to the medical floor on friday. My first nurse was terrible but who cares. By saturday I was being discharged by both my plastic, general, and hospitalist, until my nurse decided to check my pupils.... the were completely unequal, and no one knows how long they had been that way because for 4 days noone thought it was important to look at them. I had to have a neurologist consult at this point, he wanted CT angio to look at my blood vessels in my neck and head, and an MRI, well I can't have an MRI because of the metal in my expanders which no1 thought was a good idea to call him on saturday and let him know so I sat in my bed for another day. Got discharged on Sunday evening around 6pm. :) best feeling in the world! I had a pretty tramatic surgery experience but I am BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE! I AM ALIVE I am for the most part healthy, my risk for breast cancer is amazingly decreased, and I am happy with my choice.

three days

"A previvor is a survivor of a predisposition to cancer. The term specifically applies to the portion of our community that has its own needs and concerns separate from the general population, and different from those already diagnosed with cancer."

I honestly have NO clue how this is going to turn out, or what is going to come out during this journey. I do know that I have tons to say. This is me, at my lowest. All I ask is that if you are reading this, try to take a short walk in my shoes. I guess I should start with a short Intro, I'm Kionte (key-on-tay) yes, "like the wine" lol. I am 24, a RN, & BRCA 2 positive. BRCA 2 is a gene, a tumor suppressor gene my BRCA 2 gene is "messed up" which puts my chance of getting breast cancer (BC) @ somewhere around 84% and ovarian cancer around 27%... The people with a not "messed up" gene have a 7% chance! I don't wanna go too much into my family because this is ultimately about me but I will say my grandmother had breast cancer that reoccurred on the opposite side, and my aunt found her breast cancer @ 31 years old, she is also BRCA 2 positive, as well as my mom. I got my test results about a month ago, and I already knew what I wanted to do about it. In 3 days I am having a nipple sparing prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. In other words, they are taking all of the tissue out of my breast and putting implants instead. If that makes sense??? I know that some people don't understand why I am making such a "drastic" decision at such a "young" age but this is me MY life MY choice... I saw something when I was looking up BC stuff and it said something to the affect of "you wouldn't run in the middle of the street if you had an 84% chance of getting hit by a car" :)

So here I am sitting on my couch 3 days before surgery, pretty dang sad. Just to put it out there I am not sad because I am loosing my boobs, they are super small anyways... lol but I am sad because I had to make this choice. Okay maybe scratch that, I don't have to have this surgery, I could wait & have extra screening but that just wasn't an option for me. I didn't want to wake up everyday (like I have for the past month) and think about getting BC. IT SUCKS! I promise it does! Today at work we had a "kionte's pre surgery celebration extravaganza" my coworkers got me a red velvet cake, and famous daves BBQ for lunch! ohhhh how I love them! Such a bittersweet day!

It took me no time to find my plastic surgeon (PS), as I asked a general surgeon at my job and she knew just the one! So last Tuesday 2/14 I met with him, then later that day I went and met with a general surgeon, both were so personal, and sat down and asked me about what I was looking for, what I wanted my new ones to look like and how soon I wanted this done. I was hoping for an end of March 1st of April date but  2/22 came up, and it was either 2/22 or 3/27. I figured the sooner the better! Plus my younger sister was born 2/22/92 and my date is 2/22/12 kinda perfect right?

My plan is to write as often as possible and be as open as ever! I am sure I will have some bad days but, I will try to be as positive as possible with the help of my family, friends, coworkers, and other previvors. I have read so many blogs, and I every single one has touched me in some way, I just hope I can do the same.